I learned a lot this year about slowing down in a busy world because I was too afraid to meet the emotions inside of me: the rage I felt as I approach my past with more conviction, the anxiety I felt as I began to challenge feelings of shame, and the fears I feel as I began to accept that life truly is not in our control and that letting go is ok but requires daily effort. It would be easy for me to run away from all these emotions because, honestly, they are too hard to face some days especially on days I feel exhausted. But if the goal is for me to have a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, I want to hold on and work through them, trusting that He will see me through, even though I have no clue how long this journey will take. Maybe rather than looking at the time frame, I'll learn to look at the journey and mini milestones.
I'm learning to simplify. To forgive more. To prioritize. To stop, look and listen. In order to do this I ended up having to make some tough decisions. After being able to lead a young girl's support group for childhood sexual abuse, I made the very difficult decision to step down from leading the group. My time as a leader was brief, but in being able to lead for that short time, the girls have been an inspiration and a blessing. God opened that door and allowed me to walk through but He also allowed me to close it. The biggest lesson in stepping down was also a very humbling experience as I was learning to proactively prioritize and make decisions that were best for me and my family, despite my desire to continue leading, while ultimately learning to put my trust in Him.
My loving Saviour, continues to teach me as I continue to wrestle with difficult emotions. But He gives me rest and lightens my load as I continue to repent while my faith grows in following Him.
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My Yoke upon you and learn from Me, For I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for My Yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Read more about these scriptures at Got Questions? Org.